


Drifting Away

by takingmyspotlight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (near the end), Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Memories, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Teen Deceit, The Imagination Room (Sanders Sides), Toddler Virgil, a little dialogue heavy, but it be like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23112202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takingmyspotlight/pseuds/takingmyspotlight
Summary: Roman gets tired of Remus not accepting invites to dinners and movie nights, until Deceit lays something on him... it was his fault Remus was like this.The avoidance, the insanity, everything.Well. That sucks.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Deceit Sanders & Virgil Sanders (implied)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 199





	Drifting Away

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so firstly, first fic, yeaaa!!!!
> 
> Secondly, this was admittedly written before the movie night episode so imagine he didn’t show up then lmao
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Hopefully!
> 
> (Also yes this was based on Drift Away from Steven Universe)

“Ugh!” Roman slammer the door behind him. Oh course. Excuse him for trying to be nice! All Roman had aimed to do was invite his- he rolled his eyes in distaste-  brother to a dinner with the Lighter sides. A dinner! But nooo, the minute asked Remus gets upset! With _him_!

Roman stomped his foot and leaned against the wall outside his sibling’s room. He just... he didn’t understand. Remus, after the whole Intrusive Thoughts video, had admittedly calmed down a lot. He still gave Thomas the odd thought of moving cars and the ways to jump out of one and throwing jars of Crofter’s at bratty children, but calmed down nonetheless.

But, even after, Remus would always shut down attempts to events held by the Light sides. Parties, movie marathons, or other such events. He stayed in the Subconscious, in his own little corner of hell, and seemed content. But screw Roman for trying to be nice, and getting him involved!

“I don’t know why you keep trying that way,” a voice behind him said.

Roman spun around, sword drawn, only to have the end of his blade poke Deceit in the nose. The snake-eyed side paid no concern to the metal in front of him, instead focusing on its user.

“Never sneak up on a man armed with a sword, Lies and Dolls,” Roman said, slowly lowering the steel.

“Never try to reason with a crazy man,” Deceit shot back. He paused, then shook his head. “No, no. Not crazy... unstable, perhaps?”

Roman grunted.

“Whatever he is, can you try to reason with him? He always shuts me down when I attempt to-“ Roman’s hand shot up and slammed over his mouth. Deceit smiled, and relaxed the fist he was brandishing.

“Always?” He questioned. Roman scowled and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Fibber on the Roof, always-“

“Oh? Even as children? When you two were freshly split? I don’t remember that many severed heads in the early years...”

Roman was at a loss. He tried to look Deceit in the eyes, but the look in the two different eyes had his gaze fall to the floor.

“I...” he started, but the words were choked off by memories. Memories of their childhood, of him and Remus running wild in the Imagination, through Imaginary castles, fighting Dragon witches, and the monsters under their beds, and whatever weird combination of creatures Remus could come up with suddenly rushed to him. Roman cleared his throat a little too loudly and started again. This time, his voice wa quiet.

“He wasn’t... too horrendous, when we were younger, I suppose.” Early after the split, Remus had clung to Roman like a fly to flypaper, following him anywhere and everywhere.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued, “it was still pretty graphic, but... it was mostly electrocution and weird combinations of animals and butts. I don’t know when blood and organs began entering the equation, truly.” Roman finally raised his gaze to the part-snake man, and was met with a look of apathy. A look of, “disappointing, but not surprised.” The look was burning a hole through Roman’s soul, and he suddenly get defensive.

“What? What did I say?”Deceit only shook his head.

“You really don’t remember? Honestly Roman, I had a little hope for you. Apparently, it was misplaced.” The calculating gaze had Roman’s hands twitching, trying not to ball into fists.

“What don’t I know?” Deceit’s laugh followed his words, a chuckle that sounded condescending and empty.

“Oh, my dear prince, you do know, you’ve simply forgotten one little detail...” Deceit paused, and looked Roman in the eye, and finished, “you were what made him this way.”

Roman had only felt anger in the magnitudes he currently did once. Once, and only once. It was a few short years before Roman moved permanently to the “Light” part of the mind, instead of constantly bouncing from both sides with his brother. Coincidentally, this was around the time Remus stayed in the “Dark Side.”

Remus has redecorated his entire castle. To be honest, Roman didn’t even remember what his twin had done. All he remembers of the altercation was the red he saw when he came to the front gates of the castle, and the fight that ensued.

He was mad because all his hard work, years of careful planning and execution, was thrown back to- not square one, per say, as the castle actually had foundations. More like, square three.

Remus was... how did Remus react? Roman honestly couldn’t remember. Anger? No, fights like this never got Remus mad, he’d just giggle and spout something about bones in blenders.

Whatever his twins reaction, Roman clearly remembered the soar throat he had for days from yelling so much.

But here, in the Subconscious hallway, yelling would definitely bring unneeded attention from unwanted sides. That fact did nothing to dull the anger boiling inside him.

“How dare you,” Roman hissed, stabbing a finger at Deceit’s chest, “imply- whatever you’re implying! You lie!”

Deceit was not fazed in the slightest. He shook his head.

“You honestly don’t remember.” Roman paused, then squared his shoulders.

“No, I don’t remember, and quite frankly these riddles are getting tiresome.” Deceit sneered, folding his hands in front of him.

“Oh, the prince is speaking fancy, I’m  definitely afraid.” Roman opened his mouth to say something, but Deceit raised a glove clad hand to stop him. “Well, if you don’t remember, I’ll show you. Follow me, will you?”

Deceit started down the hallway. Roman followed. He wasn’t sure why. Deceit, for all his recent acceptance, was still...  Deceit . It had to be a trick, or a trap...

But, somewhere, deep down in Roman’s very soul (if even had one as a figment of someone’s imagination), something told him it wasn’t. That same something was making good progress at digging into Roman’s skull.

The pair walked at a steady pace. One leading, one following. Soon, however, Roman began to recognize the path the two were following. It was very familiar. The creative side stopped in his tracks. Before them was a door, not grand or spectacular, just a simple wooden door, with a book engraved into it.

“Why would we need to see Memories?” he asked, getting apprehensive. Deceit sighed.

“Oh Roman, you  totally aren’t being an idiot right now,” a slightly more agitated Deceit replied. He set his hand on the door, and the book shifted, from a blank cover to a split between a demonic sword and a two-headed snake.

Both Remus’ and Deceit’s memories.

Deceit gripped the doorknob, took a deep breath, and opened the door, leading Roman inside.

The Memories was one of Roman’s favorite rooms. The movie theater setup was both comfortable and the perfect way to relive theater performances and acts. But now, instead of sinking into the chairs he knew too well, he sat stiffly and wooden.

Deceit sat besides him, somehow looking more uncomfortable than Roman himself.

“Now,” Deceit started, “we will watch this fully through, and you will have no objections. Got it?”

“Now-“ Roman tried.

“Got it?”

Roman thought for a moment. He could just leave, but... then, maybe, that little question would never leave. Every day till Thomas’ death, he’d question... what did he forget? Begrudgingly, he nodded.

“Got it, you absolute fiend.”

Deceit nodded back, and closed is eyes in concentration. Behind them, the projected stated with a dramatic cough and mechanical wheeze, and began.

The memory opened on a hallway, with wallpapered walls and an open entryway on some side and an old wooden door the other.

From the open entryway, a younger Roman stormed through, a determined look on his face. He puffed a bit of air through his nose.

“-but  why !” A new voice whined. Following young Roman, a similarly young Remus appeared, dragging his feet along the hardwood. He wore exactly the same thing as Roman, but his signature green on the sleeves and shorts, with itty-bitty octopuses on the shirt. 

Young Roman didn’t answer. Remus stopped, and stamped his feet in a tantrum.

“You hung out with them yesterday, and the day before that, and the  week before that!” The young side argued, “and you promised,  pinkie promised,  we could play today!” 

The younger Roman didn’t answer, just continued to approach the old wooden door. The small Remus wrinkled his nose before speaking.

“If it’s about the castle, I already told you I’d help fix it. C’mon, I wanna play!”

Roman watched as his younger self rolled his eyes, before spinning around to his twin with a picture perfect smile on his lips.

“Why brother,” the young side said, “do you really think I’d go back on a pinkie promise? Don’t you worry your little head, we’re still going to play.”

Remus grinned and bounced on his heels.

“Really?” 

“Really, really.” 

“Whatcha wanna play? How about ‘Pull Apart’? It’s  super easy! You play by grabbing your arm and-“ Remus grabbed his arm to demonstrate, but Roman beat him to it.

“As much as that sounds like,” Roman, although he tried to hide it, wrinkled his nose,“ fun,  I have a special game to play. A game I made  just for you.”  Remus’ eyes twinkled.

“Just for me?” Roman chuckled.

“Yes, just for you. Now, how you play is, you sit right there, where you are,” and Remus obediently dropped, cross-legged, onto the floor, “and stay perfectly still. Now, I’ll go do my work, important work I might add, for Patton and Logan, and if you still there when I get back, you win!”

The real, older Roman, began to get a icky feeling in his stomach. Something about his younger counterparts stature, and the look in his eye, gave Roman a overwhelming sense of dread. Young Remus didn’t notice.

“That easy? I can do that! No problem, that’s easy as putting your hand in a-“

“Yes,” Young Roman interrupted, “that easy.” He opened the door to his to the stairwell. Before he took a step, his brother called out,

“See you later!”

Young Roman didn’t answer with anything more than a weak smile, before descending.

Roman’s head began to hurt. This seemed familiar... Deceit was scratching his scales.

“Let’s move on a little further, shall we?” The scenery around them swirled, like paint in water, before becoming solid again.

Remus was still sitting cross cross on the floor, but his smile was a little smaller, a little fragile, and cobwebs were collecting around him. His clothes were dirty and worn-looking, and plates of untouched food and cups still filled to the brim littered the area around the dark side. Roman grabbed his head at the sight. The sides didn’t technically need to eat, but it sure as heck felt better if they did.

“He been there for about...” Deceit scrunched his face up. “About three months.”

Just as the words left his mouth, a smaller, younger Deceits head poked his head around the corner of the opposite doorway. Roman almost didn’t recognizance the side. His snake side was less... snake-y, with the scales just a medium sided ring around his one eye. He stood there for a moment, a sad look adorning his features.

“Remus,” he said, a gentleness the prince didn’t expect from the side decorating his words, “it’s dinner time.” Remus just gave an insane sounding laugh.

“Can’t Dee Dee! Roman might come back!” 

Silence.

Deceit slowly walked to the young side, and sat next to him. He wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders. Both sides remained silent. It was broken by Remus saying, very quietly,

“He’s coming back, right Dee?” Deceit didn’t answer. Not immediately, at least. He sat there, staring at the old wooden door like it would tell him exactly what to say. Eventually, Deceit sighed.

“No,” he mumbled, running his human hand through Remus’ white streaked hair, “I don’t think he is.”

Remus nodded, seemingly staring at the same spot as Deceit, and looked almost as if he knew that was the answer all along. He asked, even quieter than before, “Why did he leave?”

“Because,” Deceit said after a silence that choked Roman of all his air, “he was scared of you.” 

“But  why ? Why was I scary? I...” Remus wiped a tear that was rolling down his dust covered cheek. Then the next. And the next. Before long, he was crying harder than Patton during  that  scene in  Up . 

Deceit looked at a loss. He wrapped his scale covered hand around Remus in a hug and cradled the young side. He shushed him gently and rubbed his back, intermittently making hissing sounds in his ear.Remus choked out,

“I- I didn’t ask to be this way!” He wailed, shaking like a leaf. “I didn’t ask for us to be split! I didn’t ask to be  bad !” Before he could say another word Deceit covered his mouth.

“Now I’m stoping that right now,” he deadpanned, a few tears rolling down his own face, “before you spiral down a road you can’t come back from.”

Roman didn’t like how Deceit’s voice held the tone you have when your warning someone of what you’ve gone through, personally.

“Am I,” Young Deceit continued, “bad?” Remus shook his head. 

“Am I evil?” Another head shake. 

“Am I trying to hurt Thomas?” One last head shake. 

“Then, no, you are not bad. You didn’t ask or are trying to hurt Thomas, and you are completely right. You didn’t ask for this. That is what the  others ,” Deceit hissed the word like it was a horrible poison, “don’t understand. They don’t get that this is what we are. They sit on their high horses, warning each side that turns to their Light about the scary, evil, Dark sides, as if it isn’t entirely relative. So Remus, that is what you must understand. You are not bad, you are  you .” 

When he was finished with his rant, Deceits breaths were heavy and labored, before gently released Remus’ mouth from his grip. Remus didn’t say anything for an eternity, until,

“Dee, can we still eat dinner?” Deceit didn’t answer. His mismatched eyes were cloudy, and had an off look. There was a snap. The scene suddenly came out of focus, the colors dampening. 

“Thats all we need to see if that,” Deceit said, a little too stiffly, adjusting his gloves, “I think I got my point across.” 

Those words snapped something in Roman. Why stop the memory early... unless Deceit was hiding something? Roman snatches Deceit’s wrist.

“Hold on,” Roman mocked, “you intended to watch the memory to its  entirety , therefor, we are watching it to its  entirety .”

Roman cursed himself. Of course it was a trick. How could he have fallen for the stupidest, oldest trick in the preverbal book: pity.

Roman, staring Deceit in the eyes, snapped hisfingers.

The memory began again.Remus was poking, prodding, and lightly biting Deceit on different points of his body, to no reaction from the snake-like side. Remus stood beside the other for a moment, before walking out of the room. 

Roman snorted. Leave it to his brother to abandon someone in distress. He glared daggers at a now miserable looking Deceit.

“Wanted to cover that little tidbit up, huh? My brother leaving you-“ Roman stopped as a new noise entered the memory. A rattling, like a china cabinet in an earthquake, getting louder. 

Remus entered again, this time, he was dragging a table cloth- which still had plates of food and cups sitting on it. Remus dragged it until it was settled in front of the unmoving Deceit, and started back out. Some of Deceit seemed to have come to its senses and he began to look confused at the sight in front of him.

When Remus entered again, Roman’s heart tightened.

Cradled in his arms was a little, itty-bitty toddler Virgil, dressed up in cute little spider footsie pajamas. Remus plopped the tot in Deceit’s lap and went about straightening and organizing the table cloth, for Deceits benefit obviously.

Toddler Virgil, looked up at the older side, and blinked his big baby eyes at him. 

“Dee-dee?” Virgil babbled.

Deceit said nothing, but did tilt his head to look at the tot. The two held eye contact, before Virgil scrunched his face up in that cute little angry way babies and toddlers do.

The baby straightened up, papped both of his tiny, baby hands on both sides of Deceits face, and said in a cute little slurred way,

“Dec-it!” Deceit’s mouth twitched up into a little smile, and something slid down his cheek.

“Hey there stormcloud,” he cooed, “Dee-dee is just being silly, I’m okay.”

This seemed to sooth the toddler, who settled to look the older side in his mismatched eyes. The scene seemed almost peaceful, an air of familial familiarity that reminded Roman of his younger days living with the Light Sides. Days he had at the expense of leaving a broken boy behind. 

Roman watched the three, Remus now finished ‘setting the table’, eat a dinner with only a few bits of food flying. There was a comfortable silence, until Remus spoke up with,

“Hey, Dee?”

“Yes, Remus?” Deceit said, while attempting to feed a now-sleepy Virgil some baby food.

“If the others think I’m scary... maybe I should be.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know the things I told you about? The bad thoughts?”

Deceit rolled his eyes.

“All your thoughts are, quote unquote, bad, Remus.”

“No,” Remus whined, pulling his knees to his chest and settling his head into his knees, his next words softer, “the  really bad thoughts. If I started saying them, and maybe let Thomas have a few, maybe they’ll think the me before wasn’t so... bad?” Deceit made a questioning hum.

“The you ‘before’?”

“Yep! If they want a scary guy, I’ll be a scary guy!”

“...is that really the best route to take?”

“Well, you’re not scary, and they don’t like you! I tried not to be scary, and they don’t like me! If Roman is gonna play with them, then I deserve some fun too, right?”

Deceit stared at him for a moment, before letting out a low, almost silent laugh.

“Yes,” he replied, “I suppose you do.”

Remus nodded, and began babbling about something involving a unrealistic amount of blood and vanilla cake mix.

Roman, the current one, glanced at the current Deceit, concerned. He’d put up a fight to not have the memory shown, but he hadn’t heard a single sound out of the two-faced side- he gaped at the snake side. L Deceit, in the time the memory had run, had slid out of his chair to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks in rivers. He was shaking, silently choking on air trying to get to his lungs, hands gripping his cloak hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

Roman stood shocked for a moment before jumping into action. He scooped the (slightly) shorter side into his arms and rushed him into the Mind’s hallway. He set Deceit against the wall and snapped his fingers, willing the lights to dim.

In this time, Deceit had curled up into a ball with his side against the wall. He was quivering, tiny aborted noises coming out from the ball every few moments.

He kneeled next to the other side and he hesitantly set a hand on Deceit’s shoulder. Deceit’s hand shot up to cover his and squeezed it tight.

“Deceit?” Roman muttered, voice calm and quiet, “Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can.” A squeeze. “Okay, okay, good. Now, breath in for six, hold for...”

He sat there for as long as it took, leading Deceit through the exercise, letting him keep the death grip on his hand. After a while, the other raised his head from where it hand been between his knees, and quickly let go of Roman’s hand, and just as quickly whipped away the tears that had been staining his cheeks.

“Well,” he began, choosing to ignore how waterlogged his words came out, “I’m  definitely okay now and I’m totally  not embarrassed about the last few minutes.” Roman couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t be, its perfectly normal.” Now, panic attacks were, but the reason? “So... what was that about? If you want to tell me, of course.”

“Oh course...” Deceit paused. “It... was seeing Virgil.”

Roman stared.

“Not him, obviously” Deceit backtracked, “but... more seeing us be happy. Ever since he left, every interaction has been hostility from the both of us.”

Roman grunted.

“Still upset he left you all for the Light side, huh?”

The minute the words left his mouth he realized the meaning behind them. The almost relaxed way Deceit had been sitting disappeared so fast it was a mystery if it had ever happened at all.

“He did not leave us,” Deceit hissed, “he abandoned us. He knew- he knew Remus was sensitive about things of that nature, and he still did it!”

Roman sat there. The words sunk in, and his eyes shifted to his lap. A silence took hold of them, not allowing either side to say anything.

“I’m sorry,” Roman suddenly blurted, “about what I said.” Deceit looked at him with wide eyes, which pushed Roman to continue. “I should have said Light and Dark Sides. It just created a whole mess of anger and resentment... you’re not Dark, at least.”

Deceit looked at him with wide eyes, before slumping against the wall again.

“Whatever,” he muttered. He got up (albeit a little wobbly) and smoothed our his coat and adjusted his bowler. He cleared his throat.

“Well. I’ve shown you what was needed, let’s go before one of the others-“ 

“You go on without me,” Roman cut in, “I.. I want to see something before I go.”

Deceit looked like he wanted to say something, before simply nodding and walking down the hall and out of sight.

Roman slowly walked back into the Memories and sat down, and focused on a single memory. The lights dimmed once again.

It opened on a young Roman strolling down a winding path towards his castle in the Imagination. He was smiling, a little bluebird coming to land on his shoulder. It was a perfect image of a perfect day.

Until, the castle came into view.

Instead of royal red banners hanging from the walls, a split red and green hung instead. The walls had taken a warped, sharper style, giving them an almost evil look.

The young Roman took off into a sprint. He ran into the courtyard (now filled with statues of him fighting horrendous villains), into the castle (which he realized was moving- almost breathing), he ran past now mutilated murals, strange portraits of monstrous creations, until he skidded to a stop in the throne room.

“You.” Was all Roman said. Remus grinned at him, sitting upside down in a newly-made second throne, which seemed to be made of bones, not all of them clean of human matter.

“Hey bro, whatcha think?”

Roman looked absolutely flabbergasted at the question.

“W-“ he started, “What do I think? I hate it!”

Remus’ face fell.

”But...”

“Like, what ran through your already messed up mind that made you think this was okay? This was my castle! Mine! You got your half of the Imagination, I got mine!”

Remus’ face had a look that the current Roman had never seen. He looked... sad. Upset, almost. He opened his mouth, but Roman cut him off once again.

“No! Just- just go, so I can get this mess cleaned up!”

Remus sat statue still for a moment, before slowly sliding off the throne and walking to the room’s entrance. He turned back for a split second to call,

“We can play later, right?”

He got no response, and sunk out.

The memory ended.

Current Roman sat in the theater for a while, thinking over his options, before rising and sinking into Remus’ room, where his brother was playing with his pet rat. Before his twin could say anything, he said,

“Hey Remus, I was wondering...”

Remus looked up from the pile of pillows and trish on the floor that he called a bed, and glared.

“I’m not going.” It have no wiggle room for bribes or consideration. Roman shook his head.

“No, I was wondering... if you wanted to watch a Disney movie. Anyone you want.”

Remus looked hopeful, but suspicious.

“Why?”

Roman smiled.

“I just want to hang with my brother.”

Remus just looked at him, before grinning.

“Let’s watch the Black Cauldron! Virgil showed me it and it was amazing! I like the part where-“

Roman just smiled. It was nice to have his brother back. He lead his brother to his own room, and made a mental note, which of course turned into a physical note on his desk, to talk to Virgil about visiting the ‘Dark’ sides, and to ask Deceit to hang out more. Once he got past to prior unwarranted resentment, he was... a pretty nice guy. He settled into his couch, his brother pressed against him in excitement, and considered his life... pretty good.

Even if Remus smelled absolutely dreadful.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, you read all that? Nice.
> 
> Anyway uhh leave kudos and comments and all that Jazz, you know the drill!
> 
> Plz point out any errors you find so I’m not mortified in a few years


End file.
